Jun 2015 01

Every month South Side Derby Dolls votes for our Member of the Month.

Member of the Month honours our volunteers for their hard work, commitment and general awesomeness.

Our May 2015 Members of the Month were Cluster Frack and Beard N Loathing!









There was so much awesome in the month of May that we couldn’t pick just one Member of the Month! Cluster Frack is a valued member of The Empire and The Force for her calm and supportive leadership skills, she also dedicates her time to finding us venues to skate in and new friends to skate with, most recently bringing Sun State Roller Girls to Menai for an amazing bootcamp! Beard N Loathing may be most well known for supplying us with delicious baked goods and fudge at training, but he is also a regular fixture at training and bouts: helping with our freshmeat and scrimmage training, keeping us safe as one of our first aiders and lending his voice to our cheer squad, The Rebel Alliance, at our bouts!

What 3 words describe roller derby to you?
Cluster Frack: Challenging. Rewarding. Inspiring.

Beard n Loathing: Awesome. Beardy. Family.

How did you get involved with roller derby?
Cluster: I almost didn’t go see my first bout, as I don’t like sports and really thought I’d hate it. I saw the Assassins play Richter City at the end of 2011 with my partner’s sister and was completely hooked from the get-go. At one point she turned to me and said, “You could do that”, and I thought, ‘yeah, I could’. I went home and watched the movie (you know the one), and hassled my boyfriend to buy me skates for Christmas. I had missed intakes for the year, which was just a well as I had a LOT to learn. I started at Rollerfit where Stacey taught me all the things, and then joined Inner West Roller Derby league when they formed in May of 2012.

Beardo: Chuck Norris came to me in a dream and said I must bring the gift of beard to more people, starting with roller derby.

What is your pre-derby sports/skating background?
Cluster: None, really. I used to ice skate socially with my high school friends on a Friday night, but never learned how to stop or crossover. I enjoyed sprinting in primary school, but nothing serious, the same with volleyball. I was much more of a bookworm.

Beardo: Several centuries of battles with Baldrick by my side.

What’s your Derby name and Number?
Cluster: Cluster Frack #75

Beardo: Beard N Loathing #1CNRhK

What is the inspiration and story behind your derby name and number?
Cluster: The name is a play on Cluster F##k. Frack is the expletive they use on Battlestar Galactica (I heart the remake, the original was crap). I figured the name would work if I ended up being a decent skater OR a terrible skater. 75 is the number on the side of the ship, Galactica. I used to be number 12 (12 colonies, 12 cylon skinjobs), but I moved leagues and needed a new number.

Beardo: Chuck Norris descended from the heavens and brought forth Baldrick, whom I had previously fought side by side in the halls of Valhalla, to which he also bestowed upon me the name, Beard N Loathing. Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK

What’s your best derby moment?
Cluster: This is a really hard question! How do I only choose one? I think being told that I had ‘earned my place on The Force’ after a recent tournament would have to be it, so far.

Beardo: This one time at training, we got attacked by zombies, but zombies who can only be defeated by pogonophiles, and I was all like “I got this” and I totally did.

Photo by Steven Craddock

Do you have a pre-bout ritual?
Cluster: Does misplacing something important count? At the last tournament, I forgot to bring the right coloured jersey and only realised at the last minute. A HUGE thanks to Ovary Action who rushed to the hotel for me, pretended to be me when the door refused to open, and got back in time!

Beardo: Stroking my beard exactly 27 times, no more, no less. Sometimes stroking someone else’s, who knows, this world is crazy.

What do you think about when you’re lacing up your skates?
Cluster: I’m usually going through the list of protective equipment in my head to make sure I haven’t forgotten to put something on… It happens!

Beardo: What am I having at sushi after?

Do you have a theme song or a favourite inspirational quote?
Beardo: Stroking my Beard – The Beards

What is your signature move?
Cluster: Still working on it.

Beardo: Fudge Fridays…it’s a move…Right?

Do you have a derby hero?
Cluster: Stef Mainey. She’s amazing!

Beardo: Everyone from South Side is my Derby hero.

How has your involvement with roller derby affected the way you live the rest of your life?
Cluster: It’s helped me a lot mentally – it’s certainly made me more confident, and I can now call people on their s##t, which I’m really grateful for. It’s made me realise the importance of not giving up after a setback. There are so many disappointments in derby, and if you’re going to get anywhere, you need to suck it up and keep working hard. Take that setback as a challenge and then knock it on its ass.

Favourite Star Wars character/quote/ movie?
Cluster: One of the Ewoks?? *runs away*

Beardo: “Beep boop beep” R2D2, this guy (or girl, I don’t think he/she really has a gender) gets me.

What’s your favourite thing about S2D2?
Cluster: The people. We give up so much time to this sport that we miss out on social events with friends and family. South Side is full of the most lovely, passionate and generous people I know. They have become my family and I couldn’t be happier.

Beardo: If people knew the things that I say, the fact that no one bats an eyelid, that’s pretty sweet.

Thanks Cluster and Beardo!